Diary of a Broke Black Graduate
Where is my Tyler Perry? Where is my Madea? My Alonzo? #nohomo
It’s the longest running unfunny joke since
Dane Cook …a college degree.
It’s a Ponzi Scheme, that’s legal…like the government.
I worked hard to graduate #14 from Mesquite High School (2001 Division 1 5A State Champs!!!) and was told that I could go anywhere. Colleges flooded my inbox, elbowed out my teenage rap dreams(yea yea…)with hope…
Hope of getting out of my Ma Dukes house, BUYING her a house, and getting out of poverty. Baylor University was at the end of my scholastic rainbow, but little did I know that the Pot of Gold had a hard bottom, and was BORROWED!
SALLIE MAE WAS THE LEPRECHAUN, MORE LIKE THE LEPRECHAUN FROM THE HOOD
I avoided #MyWife like the plague, but after tuition was RAISED 7 PERCENT and my scholarship was RAISED 0 PERCENT, I was engaged, and endangered!
I WAS BALLING WITH THAT REFUND CHECK! I was even eating the real ramen noodles…Maruchen not that Top Ramen crap.
After 4 years…and 3 months of living the life of luxury, 14 year old cars (89 HONDA) bumming and cramming, I graduated!
I hit the job market by storm…in the midst of an ECONOMIC CLUSTERFUCK deemed the recession! It was looking worse than Kat Stacks the morning after with a hangover…ewwww
Everyone wants a candidate with job experience…did they not read on my application that I just graduated?
Now I’m working for a bank…they same MOFOS THAT I OWE! THE SAME MOFOS THAT CAUSED THE RECESSION, WHICH CAUSED JOBS TO BE SCARCE…AINT THAT A BITCH!?
Overeducated, Underpaid…Ive been broke all my life. My mama had the MCI bill in my name. I had bad credit, before I could spell credit.
Where are the movies for those in my situation? Where are our 6’4 cross dressing warriors ready to fight for our happiness (GAINFUL EMPLOYMENT!!)
Where are our heroes beside behind the counter @ Starbucks?
The Bald headed Man from Law and Order is Sallie Mae, the schools are just the Light Skin sidepiece, getting fat and fancy off our money!
So currently I am unhappily married to Sallie Mae, but I’m do not want a divorce…I want to be a Widower…
Diary of a Broke Black Graduate…WHAT HOT GRITS CAN’T DO, A GUN WILL!!!